Thursday, April 26, 2018

THE TEN COMMANDMENTS OF BLOGGING.

It has come to my attention lately that there have been a few problems in our blogging community.
  • Bloggers swearing at other bloggers.
  • Mass deletion of posts.
  • Deleting entire blogs.
  • Carving images of things.
  • Not adoring me.
  • Saying that other bloggers said things they didn't say.
  • Poetry as comments.
  • Boring posts.
  • Irrelevant posts - like outside furniture being blown over.
  • Posts written by pissed bloggers.
My first thought was to build an Arc.



Sorry, I meant an Ark



and wipe everyone out with a flood and start again.

I talked to Baxter and he said we needed a set of rules.

Baxter


So here they are. Break them and you're off to Hell.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


THE TEN COMMANDMENTS

                        OF BLOGGING

1. ANGRY JESUS IS YOUR GOD AND HE WON’T TOLERATE OTHER GODS OR PEOPLE WHO THINK THEY ARE TOO IMPORTANT.

2. LOVE ANGRY JESUS AND DON’T CARVE IMAGES OF OTHER PEOPLE – THERE’S JUST NO POINT IN DOING THAT. BUY A MAGIZINE IF YOU WANT TO SEE IMAGES.

3. NO JOKES ABOUT THE ‘ANGRY JESUS’ NAME PLEASE AND DON’T USE IT TO SWEAR.

4. SATURDAY IS A BUSY DAY FOR BLOGGING. RESPECT IT AND REMEMBER THAT TOO MUCH WINE MIGHT MAKE EDITING NECESSARY ON SUNDAY.

5. LOOK UP TO AND ADMIRE RICHARD’S BASS BAG BECAUSE IT IS THE ORIGINAL BASS BAGGING SITE.

6. DON’T SWEAR AT OTHER BLOGGERS AND GO EASY ON THE POETRY.

7. DON’T DELETE ALL YOUR BLOG POSTS AND THEN START UP AGAIN UNDER ANOTHER NAME.

8. DON’T STEAL IDEAS FOR POSTS FROM OTHER BLOGGERS.

9. DON’T MAKE UP SHIT THAT A BLOGGER DIDN’T ACTUALLY SAY.

10. DON’T COVET ANOTHER BLOGGER’S WINE OR BEER, NOR HIS COMPUTER, NOR HIS OUTSIDE FURNITURE.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

4 comments:

  1. I'm kooking forward to the "does" Angry Jesus was reported by nine witnesses to say in the New Testament. Though I could be wrong.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Do wash your hands after going to the toilet.
    Do butter your toast right to the edge of the crust.
    Do buy wines with proper labels on them.
    Do cook decent spaghetti and not that crap in cans.
    Do put on a jumper and warm socks before thinking of turning on a heater.
    Do check the tyre pressures on your car.
    Do listen to T-Bone Burnett.
    Do read Richard's Bass bag from time to time to keep the old joker happy.
    Do use revolving mortgages or similar to reduce your debt as quickly as you can.
    Do be open-minded about the existence of gods (or the lack of them).

    ReplyDelete
  3. Don't build your toilet near your drinking water supply.

    ReplyDelete
  4. OK. Fair enough. Add it in and remove the tenth one in the list above. I wouldn't have been able to keep to that one anyway.

    ReplyDelete