- Bloggers swearing at other bloggers.
- Mass deletion of posts.
- Deleting entire blogs.
- Carving images of things.
- Not adoring me.
- Saying that other bloggers said things they didn't say.
- Poetry as comments.
- Boring posts.
- Irrelevant posts - like outside furniture being blown over.
- Posts written by pissed bloggers.
My first thought was to build an Arc.
Sorry, I meant an Ark
and wipe everyone out with a flood and start again.
I talked to Baxter and he said we needed a set of rules.
So here they are. Break them and you're off to Hell.
THE TEN COMMANDMENTS
1. ANGRY JESUS IS YOUR GOD AND HE WON’T TOLERATE OTHER GODS OR PEOPLE WHO THINK THEY ARE TOO IMPORTANT.
2. LOVE ANGRY JESUS AND DON’T CARVE IMAGES OF OTHER PEOPLE – THERE’S JUST NO POINT IN DOING THAT. BUY A MAGIZINE IF YOU WANT TO SEE IMAGES.
3. NO JOKES ABOUT THE ‘ANGRY JESUS’ NAME PLEASE AND DON’T USE IT TO SWEAR.
4. SATURDAY IS A BUSY DAY FOR BLOGGING. RESPECT IT AND REMEMBER THAT TOO MUCH WINE MIGHT MAKE EDITING NECESSARY ON SUNDAY.
5. LOOK UP TO AND ADMIRE RICHARD’S BASS BAG BECAUSE IT IS THE ORIGINAL BASS BAGGING SITE.
6. DON’T SWEAR AT OTHER BLOGGERS AND GO EASY ON THE POETRY.
7. DON’T DELETE ALL YOUR BLOG POSTS AND THEN START UP AGAIN UNDER ANOTHER NAME.
8. DON’T STEAL IDEAS FOR POSTS FROM OTHER BLOGGERS.
9. DON’T MAKE UP SHIT THAT A BLOGGER DIDN’T ACTUALLY SAY.
10. DON’T COVET ANOTHER BLOGGER’S WINE OR BEER, NOR HIS COMPUTER, NOR HIS OUTSIDE FURNITURE.