One: The Parable of the Ten Virgins.Matthew 25
25:1 Then the kingdom of heaven shall be likened to ten virgins
who took their lamps and went out to meet the bridegroom.
25:2 Now five of them were wise, and five were foolish.
25:3 Those who were foolish took their lamps and took no oil with them,
25:4 but the wise took oil in their vessels with their lamps.
25:5 But while the bridegroom was delayed, they all slumbered and slept.
25:6 And at midnight a cry was heard:
'Behold, the bridegroom is coming; go out to meet him!'
25:7 Then all those virgins arose and trimmed their lamps.
25:8 And the foolish said to the wise,
'Give us some of your oil, for our lamps are going out.'
25:9 But the wise answered, saying,
'No, lest there should not be enough for us and you;
but go rather to those who sell, and buy for yourselves.'
25:10 And while they went to buy, the bridegroom came,
And those who were ready went in with him to the wedding;
and the door was shut.
25:11 Afterward the other virgins came also, saying,
'Lord, Lord, open to us!'
25:12 But he answered and said,
'Assuredly, I say to you, I do not know you.'
25:13 Watch therefore,
for you know neither the day nor the hour in which the Son of Man is coming.
Okay, what's all this about? Let me explain...
"Those who were foolish took their lamps and took no oil with them." Well, this explain why most women never think to check the oil and water in the car. When women are no longer virgins they still aren't good at putting oil in things.
"But while the bridegroom was delayed, they all slumbered and slept." This shows that women can never be trusted to stay awake when they are waiting for someone.
Later we find that women don't like sharing things...
"No, lest there should not be enough for us and you;
but go rather to those who sell, and buy for yourselves."
Men would have shared the oil around, but, there again, all the men would have remembered to take oil - so problem solved.
"Watch therefore, for you know neither the day nor the hour in which the Son of Man is coming. "
Well, this bit is a little ambiguous, but I wasn't sure how to wrap the story up. In an earlier version I had the bridegroom give all the virgins who showed up with oil, let me say, 'a good amount of attention' - the point being that a man doesn't expect a woman to show up with oil, unless it's for a massage. Maybe I should have stuck with that ending?
Ah well, you can't please everybody.
