God found drunk!

Well, actually it was me, not dad. I found this drunk guy. He'd had enough to drink, so I took what was left of his bottle of red wine. Not a bad drop really.

Proof of God's existence.

People often ask why God just doesn't come out and say,
"Here I am."
This is basically because God is a bit embarrassed by some of you.

Well, quite a lot of you actually. There are many of you who don't measure up to His likeness.

As your Heavenly Father He is disappointed. He gave you everything. Well, nearly everything until Adam stuffed up. Still, He gave you quite a bit - including the 'in His own image' thing. Deep fried foods and alcohol were a mistake. Dad blames me for turning water into wine, but, in my defence, I never turned fruit into deep fried food. I never even conceived a pineapple ring covered in batter.

God is basically ashamed of a lot of you and that's why He just doesn't come out and say,

"Okay, here I am. I made everything you see, everything you can smell and touch."

Maybe you all need to get your combined act together if you want proof of the existence of Dad.

The Parable of The Good Snake.

Okay, generally speaking, in biblical circles, snakes have a bit of a bad name. There is one snake, though, who crawled against the grain.
A man from Corinth was walking in a nearby desert when he became overcome by the heat and ran out of water. Soon he was laying on the ground and near death.
A snake was passing and saw the man. This was a talking snake - from the same species that was in the Garden of Eden.
The snake asked the man,
"Why are you laying on the ground?"
Being from Corinth, the man had a bit of a tongue on him and replied,
"Jesus! That's a bloody stupid question!"
The snake assumed that the man wanted to be with Jesus, who had been crucufued a little while back, so he bit him and the man died.

Although the snake really got the wrong end of the stick, so to speak, he had a good heart and was only trying to help.

I guess the moral of this parable is that, even if you are in a bad mood, for whatever reason, it pays to answer questions accurately, so that the person (or talking snake) you are talking to understands what your true intentions or desires are.

The Parable of the good money lender who set up business in the temple.

1985.

There was a church in a poor suburb called Blat and people had to drive rusty old cars and seldom could afford takeaways. A good money lender came to the church and offered people loans. He worked out a plan where he charged 70% interest and people could borrow up to $3000. He had a card that he gave out in church, just before the priest came out.
The Good people of Blat were happy because they could now buy more beer and takeaways. The young people also had lots of soft drinks and put on weight. This meant that the forward pack in the Blat senior rugby team got very heavy and they had the best scrum in the city wide competition. They won all their games using rolling malls.

If people couldn't pay back their loans, the good money lender gave them extra time but simply charged them more interest.
One day a man came to him and said he wouldn't pay back the money he owned. The good money lender prayed for guidence and the Lord instructed him to go around to this man's house and break things. After this the man always paid because he saw God's plan.
God spoke to the good money lender saying,
"You have helped my people. You are a good money lender."
The suburb of Blat was known by all in the city as a blessed suburb.