Okay, who wrote The Bible?

Well, it wasn't me. Remember that I was dead at the time. Well, I had resurrected, but I was sort of dead again after that, albeit spending time in Heaven.
Here is a picture of me after I resurrected...

Yep, that's how I looked - after having been dead. Okay, okay, it's an artist's impression!
Anyway, back to The Bible, I'm really not sure who wrote the bloody thing, but it is a bit of a yawn.