The very first bible.

My loyal followers spend a lot of time trying to work out what language the very first bible was in and who actually wrote it.
Okay, the only two people who can really answer this question are Dad and me and, as you know, Dad likes to communicate in mysterious ways. So that really only leaves me to tell you.

The first Jack Reacher book -

probably the next best thing to the bible.

As you know, when I was on Earth (aka Jasper) I had twelve apostles. Judas let the side down so, near the end, I replaced him with Baxter.

Baxter - the 13th apostle.

Baxter was quite a famous general and, when the Romans were coming for me, he was keen to set up a counter attack but I told him I had to die to get rid of all those bloody sins that people had done. That was one of Dads rather more bizarre ideas - bloody mysterious ways!
So I said to the apostles, "You guys can write a book. Some of you will babble on so lets call it The Babble."
Baxter was always one with strong opinions. He said that the book would be best written in the Roman language (Latin) because most of the other people around were pretty ignorant and couldn't read. He seemed to like the name babble but thought it needed a more unique name. We all tossed the name around and came up with Bible. Paul said that, because this book would tell everything, it should be called The Whole Bible. Unfortunately the publishers got the name wrong. In later editions there were quite a few grammatical errors and spelling mistakes. Publishing and proof reading was in its early days - hence the mistakes.

The publishers got the name wrong.

So Baxter sort of took charge and formed a team with Paul, Luke and a few others. A guy named Ecclesiastes turned up and had a go at writing some stuff too.
Most of the guys spoke a bit of Italian and not much Latin, so they decided on a language change.
So, there you have it, the first Bible was actually written in Italian. That is why the pope lives in Italy, because that's where the best bibles are.

"This post is all true. Come and read the first bible in Italy."