Wednesday, November 22, 2017

Where do morals come from?

God's word that is recorded as the Ten Commandments.

Ah Hebrew, it might as well be written in bloody Dutch!
Well that's it. Question answered.
That was a short post!

[time passes]

Well okay, I'll elaborate.
Hebrew has never been my favourite language. All you have to do is leave out a full stop or spell a word slightly differently and a whole new meaning is given. Those guys who wrote my Bible were not well educated and their writing skills were generally bloody awful. Suffice to say that there are mistakes everywhere in the great book. If I ever need another bible, I'll invent a reading and writing school first.
Hell, for example, is not mentioned in the Bible. A hot place is mentioned once or twice but those dumb writers were actually referring to the ancient holiday resort of Anatin which was to the east of modern Lybia.

Ancient Anatin - an artist's impression
Okay, back to morals. Here's the ten things that Dad ordered:
  1. Only worship Dad (and me)
  2. No jokes about us and don't use my name if you hit your finger with a hammer
  3. Keep Saturday holy
  4. Be good to your mum and dad
  5. No killing
  6. Don't bonk other people's wives and husbands
  7. Don't steal
  8. Don't make shit up
  9. Don't bonk your neighbour's wife (really just re-emphasizing no 6 here)
  10. Don't take your neighbour's stuff (and re-emphasizing no 7 here)
Yeah, in retrspect we really only needed 8 commandments. I mentioned this to Dad at the time but he said that 10 was sort of more balanced.

Okay, here is where morals originate from. 
Some God knockers say that the first three are not morals. They're bloody wrong.
Let me quote from the book of Baxter 34:12 - 9
(NB. the spelling and grammatical mistakes in this text come from the original Hebrew version and are not mine)

In his mature years Baxter often travelled to other regions to help pople in they're  fight against heathens and atheists because he had become a very famous general and was very good at kiling pople.
? wHen he was in knew lands. Baxter always preached Gods' word. and told pople that they must worship God as this was the number one moral. 
One day when Baxter was talking to a croud a man could Simon of Beddermon questioned him.
Simon of Beddermon said,
'But Baxter, morals are a matter of common sense. If,  four example, we don;t kill eachother, everyone has a better life. Worshipping God has nothing two do with morals!"
Baxter pulled out his very sharp sword and approached Simon of Beddermon and stabbed him in the thoat. Blod spurted everywhere and Simon of Beddermon was history and probably on his way to Anatin/
Noone els questioned Baxters' words, so he knew he was rite. 

Simon of Beddermon
before his trip to Anatin.

There you have it - follow the Ten Commandments and you'll be on the right track.
Also, read the Bible - just be careful if you're reading the Hebrew version.


  1. So are you jobbing the writing out now?
    The spelling and grammar suggest that Robert wrote this for you and the content - well- frankly a 10 year old would have done better.
    This is very disappointing and I'm afraid, typical of the decline of this 'confederation '
    The statues will have to come down.

  2. I'm with AG. As my dear old mum used to say, "I don't know, you've got to believe in something." Bless her. Remember what Luke (Rob's friend, not the biblical guy) said about grammatical mistakes in the Hebrew bible. Actually, AJ says that, before he wrote this post, he checked the writing of twenty 10 year olds and all their efforts were inferior. Put that in your pipe and smoke it! Yeah, I know you don't have a pipe - it was a metaphor.

  3. I'm worried that Luke has eaten Robert's brains.

  4. i always thought that the greek copy of the bible was the oldest surviving full record we have , and that there are just fragments of the hebrew. even these of course were not original because parchment did not last long with normal use and had to be meticuously recopied. maybe aj can confuse sorry clear this up.

  5. No Rob, don't trust the Greek bible. All these guys know about is running fish 'n chip shops. The Hebrew bible was the one I approved. Guess I should have read it first but I was a bit busy turning water into wine at the time.

  6. So Angry Jesus is a racist as well as an utter bastard.

  7. Come on, give him a break. He is, after all, the Son of God. God wasn't (isn't) adverse to wiping out a few races. Read your history books.

  8. Racist? I've never been in a race in my very long existence (eternity - poor atheist Curmudgeon), but if I did enter one I would win because I have super powers.

  9. Okay, so who's playing tennis tomorrow? You up for a quick game The Curmudgeon? Okay, didn't think so.

  10. I'm playing snooker with the old guys today. I might check out tennis next week.

    How's it hanging AJ?