Sunday, October 8, 2017

I'm starting work on the Third Testament.

Okay, so far we've had two but...


there is quite a bit of shit in both of them.

So I figured that it might be time for a third testament called

THE THIRD TESTAMENT.


In the past I've got locals to write Gospels and I've decided to stick with this format.
Some of the people I've had most contact with this time around are bloggers so I'm sending out an invitation to people like Robert, The Curmudgeon, Phillip Nis, Bin Hire, Richard (of RBB) and The Wine Guy to bang out a Gospel. Then I'll stick the best ones together in a book - THE THIRD TESTAMENT.

Get writing fellas, I haven't got all day.
Well, you can have longer than a day - say a week or two. We don't want them written 200 years from now. I get too many sceptics on my back when that happens.

12 comments:

  1. Sounds like fun. I call mine "First letter to the Wainuiomatians"

    ReplyDelete
  2. I thought about it but no. Do your own work you shiftless bastard.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Phew! I kind off wondered how an atheist would act as a witness to God!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I'm not in also, though I like that idea of Robert's about a letter to Wainuiomatians.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I hope you like warm weather The Curmudgeon, and I mean VERY, VERY warm!

    ReplyDelete
  6. First Letter to the Wainuiomatians
    Robert, a servant of the Lord Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit, to his brother Richard who is at Wainuiomata.
    I give thanks to Our Father in heaven, praying for you occasionally.
    You have heard it said by the non believers who have not experienced the light that Darwin's Theory of Evolution is scientific law. I say to you beware of the atheists who drop the word "theory" and speak of "Evolution" as though it is a proven fact.
    Let it not be said then that this or that was caused by evolution nor that one species evolves into another; for these are lies and the work of the unmentionable one.
    Let no man either say that there is no creator or creation. This too is a false belief .
    Remember how John said in the Second Testament "All things were created through Him; and nothing was created without Him".
    When you pray, dear brother, do not do as those who attend church only on a Sunday for an hour and sing hymns.
    The Lord is not interested in your intonation. He has already created angels untold that sing perfectly in tune. They were a disappointment so He created us.
    Of course when you pray you can ask for this and that.
    God knows there are more important things but maybe He will grant your wish like a loving Father does sometimes.
    Better to just listen.
    He knows everything you need already.
    Of course he is invisible for a good reason so you will sit and be quiet with no response expected.
    Just occasionally you will hear a word if you are lucky. Remember you are talking to God the supreme being that made heaven and earth and has existed forever and ever; He's not going to talk to any fool!
    Listen.
    Your mind will wander.
    Listen!

    ReplyDelete
  7. "The Lord is not interested in your intonation. He has already created angels untold that sing perfectly in tune. They were a disappointment so He created us." Have you heard these angels sing? They suck.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Yeah, okay, I'm sorry about those angels. Not having any male genitals available made them all sing too high - no low root note. Sorry again. Don't forget that the whole male, female thing has been a learning curb for us. I mean, we have always been. Dad had no need for a cock. Okay - he never had a need to piss or procreate. We call Mum 'Mum' but the three of us have been here eternally. No original shagging required. I'll talk to the angels - I do have my angles. Ha ha, little pun there! See how clever I am!

    ReplyDelete
  9. "Whoa I am just a vagabond, a drifter on the run
    the eloquent profanity, it rolls right off my tongue
    And I have dined in palaces, drunk wine with kings and queens
    But darlin', oh darlin', you're the best thing I ever seen
    Won't you roll me easy, oh slow and easy
    Take my independence, with no apprehension, no tension
    You're a walkin', talkin' paradise, sweet paradise
    I've been across this country, from Denver to the ocean
    And I never met girls that could sing so sweet like the angels that live in Houston
    Singing roll me easy, so slow and easy
    Play that concertina be a temptress
    And baby I'm defenseless
    Singing harmony, in unison, sweet harmony
    Gotta hoist the flag and I'll beat your drum"

    - Lowell George wasn't disappointed in the angels.

    ReplyDelete
  10. "God of Nations at Thy feet,
    In the bonds of love we meet,
    Hear our voices, we entreat,
    God defend our free land.
    Guard Pacific's triple star
    From the shafts of strife and war,
    Make her praises heard afar,
    God defend New Zealand."

    And this proves equally that God is a nice guy who has a special place in His heart for New Zealand.

    ReplyDelete