Baxter teaches The Religious Curmudgeon a HARD LESSON.

Okay, followers of me, during the night my main man Baxter has been busy.

Baxter

He led a small raiding party into the Curmudgeon Inc. camp and has captured that fat little turd The Religious Curmudgeon. It seems that The Curmudgeon was out at a concert.

"Whimper, whimper, give me a glass of wine.

Please!"

Baxter: I am Baxter and I am doing the work of our Lord and saviour Angry Jesus.
The Religious Curmudgeon: [still whimpering] I want to go home!
Baxter: That's all very well little fat chap but you wrote a piece where Angry Jesus was ridiculed and made to look stupid. Generally the penalty for that is death by disembowelment.

The Religious Curmudgeon: [sniveling] I'm sorry mighty Baxter. Please forgive me. It was supposed to be a bit of a joke. Got any wine?

Baxter: I took the time to read your posts and it seems you're not really a friar, nor are you a man of God. Your only true intention is ridicule. This friar is a liar. See how clever I can be with words. There are many more examples of my cleverness in The Book of Baxter.*

The Religious Curmudgeon: It's true, oh wise warrior. Please let me go. I promise to get a copy of your book and read it from cover to cover.

Baxter: It has become clear to me that you are just a whimpy little twat who is not worthy to be sliced up by my mighty sword. I will let you go but you will pay a price. You can continue to write your sad little blog but from now on the only wine you will drink is Cleanskin. Tell all the Curmudgeons that Baxter has spoken. Tell all the Curmudgeons that Baxter is never far away. Now take that bottle of Cleanskin and get out of here before I change my mind.
[The Religious Curmudgeon grabs the bottle, nods in respect and shuffles out]

* now available in paperback